So remember that 20 seconds of insane courage, well nothing happened. It’s been 3 weeks and I have not heard a thing. Maybe I wasn’t good enough or not the right fit. Whatever the reason is, I will say it would be nice to know. Not that I plan on changing immediately but at least I would know. Now all I’m left with is uncertainty. I continue to rack up support from my friends, and they tell me that”I’m too good; and let me say I do appreciate the encouragement. When I have to come to the realization that I knew and know nothing about this person. I have no idea what is going on in their mind and the more time that I send trying to think that I do leaves me spinning. I did what I did and that’s it. I’ll take it for what it is, and nothing more. I will not read into things. I will not over compensate. I will just online to be me. Flawed and okay with that.
So a friend told me that it only takes 20 seconds of insane courage to change your life. What she forgot to also mention the time that follows can be insane torture. I completely stepped out of my comfort zone this week and did something I thought that I would never to. Even though on the outside I looked like I had it all together, or at least i hope it did, I completely felt like I was dying inside. You know the feeling….the heart pounding so hard in your chest you can feel it in your throat.
Now, I have to sit and wait. Sit and wait to see what the out come of the “20 seconds of insane courage” brings. All I can do is breathe and wait. The metaphoric saying… The ball is in their corner now, brings no relief to the amount of anxiety I feel. And to top it of it’s only been about 48 hours I hate to see what my mental state may be in about a week.
At the end of the day I can say, I did something that I never thought I would do. One thing to scratch of the ole bucket list. Or maybe I’ll make one at put that task on it.
I love Nashville! So full of history! (Taken with Instagram)
I am so boared. (Taken with Cinemagram)
Attack of the kitties (Taken with Cinemagram)
How does one fall out of love with someone when the other person has no idea that they exists?
Look what I got… Wine not included! #happybirthday #birthdaymonth #sisters #wine (Taken with instagram)
Late night adventures. (Taken with instagram)